In my first post celebrating Little Lies’ tenth birthday, I talked about qualifying as a business and personal coach and, around the same time, discovering a brand that celebrates the same things. Coaching is about narrowing the gap between who we are on the inside and who we are on the outside, in professional and personal life. From the playlists to the clothes to the VIP group chat (where I met the new producer of my Writers’ Gym Podcast so thanks yet again, Jade!), Little Lies celebrates illustrating, and embodying, who we are and who we choose to be.

My first creative confidence coaching workout for life, work and art is inspired by the music and spirit of Little Lies’ iconic muse.

Stevie Nicks is a powerful presence for me: she’s the icon on my emotional stage who, like me, doesn’t look like what society often tells me being over forty’s meant to look like, is child-free, not married to her partner and her work speaks of stepping beyond being a reflection of someone else to becoming who you are. She is visibly, eloquently, unapologetically herself.

The Stevie: Creative Confidence for Life, Work and Art

All you need’s a pen, and a ‘what the hell’. Because all you need to do is, as we say at the Writers’ Gym, Think On The Page…

‘Well I’ve been afraid of changing ‘cause I built my life around you…’

Sometimes we do this with people, sometimes jobs, always with great intentions. And the longer we’ve let ourselves be defined by someone or something else, the braver it is to see it. But that’s when the power is. Once we’ve noticed, we’re stronger than we were. If we can notice (not judge), we can choose.

·Think of three things Ten-years-ago You didn’t know.

Maybe Ten-years-ago You didn’t know a few things about their own possibilities, their own worth. Maybe it was easier to appreciate someone or something else and overshadow themselves. Maybe focusing on that person or thing was okay for a while, but maybe now you know the signs it’s time to move forward.

Tell them, gently, what you know now. Think on the page.

One of the things that never stops being a surprise is how surprised we are that everyone is as scared as we could ever be. That everyone feels as much impostor syndrome or sense they’re meant to have ‘the answers’ by now.

If there is an answer, a secret, I’d say it’s realising exactly that: we all feel the same fear, and we’re not impostors; we’re all uniquely qualified to be ourselves.

‘Sara’ was (among many things) the name Stevie gave those feelings, the stronger, truer version of ourselves we feel is in here somewhere, or out there somewhere.

Rather than letting shame or fear widen the gap between how we see ourselves and how much we let ourselves step into being who we want to be, we can identify the small steps we’ve grown by and give ourselves permission to see the next ones.

·Describe your ‘Sara’. What do they do with their time? How do they speak, dress, move, live? How are they like you? What do they feel that you want to feel?

·What’s one small step you could give yourself permission to take, to narrow the gap?

·Imagine it’s today’s date ten years from now. Let yourself daydream

about what Ten-years-from-now You will know. Write in past tense how you achieved (because it’s already happened) the things you want, how you reminded yourself you’re allowed to want them, that have the power to show up for them.

Tell you today, gently, what you know now. Think on the page.

A reminder for all time that it was never about avoiding the rain. That change comes, and growth comes with it.

More next time about change, about ‘gateway pieces’ (as I call them in my head: how sometimes you can find an item you thought wasn’t for you, that was for a person you weren’t. And then you let yourself try it on and realise it was just another dream to turn into a goal), when I return next time with the Bowie workout…

ALL the love,

Rachel x

Dr Rachel Knightley, Author, Writing and Confidence Coach
Insta: @drrachelknightley
Substack: drrachelknightley.substack.com
www.rachelknightley.com